A co-worker brought it to my attention that the company would not be renewing any temps or contractors beyond their current end dates. It’s been about a month since I learned and confirmed that with my boss. I’ve got until 12/28/08 and then I’ll have some unwanted free time.

Since then, I’ve had anxiety and depression over what I will do. It of course doesn’t help when you look at the bigger picture and see the economy going to shit. Seeing all of the news about job losses and the Dow plummeting and words being tossed around like “recession” or “depression” has done nothing but make the feelings of anxiety for the future that much worse.

I tried to keep my head up, just say whatever, but when you see your highly qualified co-workers going on interviews and they come back saying that companies are telling them that they are still looking over their budgets and will be getting back with them. That kind of news is slightly discouraging. I mean how much suck is it to go interview for a job and your position gets cut before you even start?

One thing about me when it comes to depression is, I know when I’m heading there. I feel it in heighten stress levels (which makes for extremely painful back aches and tense muscles). I start to sleep and eat more, care less about priorities. I often bitch more, snap at people easier. It’s all the classic symptoms.

I never take medication for it. Never had a need for it. I have learned that it’s OK to go through temporary depressions. My way of getting out of it is to go to the gym and “work it out”.  Hopefully I’ll get back to the gym soon to start getting out of this funk. I really really don’t like it being bitter and full of fear and uncertainty. People who know me well, know I’m generally a funny person and very easy going. (my sister always says, If you were any more relaxed you’d be dead)

On the subject of fixing the issue of possibly being jobless or having to change my job, I’m still working on that. I’m still revising my resume to make it look more appealing. My biggest obstacle is trying to figure out what I want say for my objective/summary. My love of technology is wide and very unfocused.

At the moment, I’m in the ATEC program at UTD so I do like Arts and Technology. I just don’t know enough in one specific area to be confident in putting that on my resume and or applying for a job in that area. Then you add in that I am very interested in IT Security. Mainly because I’ve been in IT Audit (or some variation of it) for the past 3 years at my current temp job. And for fun at home, I recently built a media center from scratch and then for shits and giggles, installed Ubuntu on my laptop. So obviously, my focus is all over the map, but at the core of it, I just love to learn new things. Too bad most employers expect you to hit the ground running.

For now there’s no pretty bow to put on this blog that symbolizes a resolution. My life is not a sitcom where things just get resolved in under one hour.

Too be continued….